Massacre in Norway triggers lessons in bereavement, grief, trauma and mental health
The massacre in Norway raises many points about mental health, bereavement, grief and trauma.
Let’s look first at Anders Behring Breivik whose actions resulted in 76 people being killed or, as we write this, unaccounted for. While it might have been legally judicious for his lawyer to label Breivik “insane”, using that word says more about prejudice than it does about understanding mental health.
When people retreat from the norm – behaving anti-socially, whether by withdrawing from others or behaving inhumanely towards themselves or others – it is often because they feel out of kilter with the world, or misunderstood by it, or because they cannot manage their emotions. This is not a defence of Breivik’s behavour (clearly extreme and exceptional) but it is an example of what can happen if mental illnesses are not recognised, diagnosed or treated.
While the majority of our clients are well-informed and self-aware, mental illness remains a taboo. Talking about mental health issues with partners, family, friends – or with colleagues at work – is not something everyone has the chance or inclination to do. Keeping concerns private does not often lead to extremes of behaviour – but it can cause significant shifts in behaviour or personality, turning people in on themselves. And that could lead to self-harm, eating disorders, mis-using drugs or alcohol, an over-reliance on smoking; it could cause anxiety, panic, stress, phobias, sleep issues. It can also affect behaviour and performance at work and relationships. Anyone feeling they do not fit in, that others are against them, or that they cannot cope deserves support and encouragement. Yet, as our human instinct is often to shy away from exposing what we think of as private weaknesses or inadequacies, support is often hard to seek.
The Norwegian tragedy also shows how others can be affected, directly or indirectly.
We’ve heard about the guilt that some survivors of the incident feel – that they escaped his attention or were just of out range so they lived but others didn’t. There is anger at the police – for taking what the public considered too long to respond to the incident, and for not having the right means to get their fast. Many who witnessed the incident were immediately traumatised and may remain affected by the trauma for some time. Some parents felt relief on learning their child was safe, but their relief was tinged with sadness at others’ loss. We saw the tearful response of the King and Queen of Norway at the memorial service, shocked and saddened by the individual deaths and by what was the country’s biggest loss of life since the second world war. And we noted the stunned expression on the Norwegian prime minister’s face as he took control of the incident, balancing his emotions with his responsibilities to set a lead for the country and protect its reputation as a tourist destination.
Paramedics who reached the scene described the people they found as traumatised. Those paramedics are likely to have built up resilience that helps them manage their reactions to traumatic incidents but they might need continuing support to maintain that resilience.
And we’ve experienced our own reactions, at a distance from the incident, trying to make sense of it from our perspectives, with many of us reliving grief at lives lost years ago or recently.
All of these reactions are normal – grief is a complex emotion even when a death or loss occurs naturally and is expected. Sometimes it takes an extreme act for people to notice the extent of their own or others’ mental distress – and to give themselves permission to seek help to overcome it.
If this traumatic incident has triggered difficult emotions, changed behaviours, or reopened issues you thought were under control, do get in touch with us for professional, therapeutic support. We offer a range of therapies including EMDR (recognised by NICE as particularly effective for recovering from trauma), CBT, hypnotherapy, psychotherapy and counselling - and often recommend a blend of therapies so each person receives the form of therapy that is best for them.
29/07/2011 | Posted in Psychotherapy, Psychodynamic therapy, Psychoanalytical therapy, Person-centred counselling, NLP, Integrative counselling, Hypnotherapy, Humanistic psychotherapy, Gestalt therapy, Existential counselling, EMDR, EFT, Counselling, CBT, Sensorimotor psychotherapy,
A journey into using alcohol as a prop
So, Tony Blair has published his memoirs and confessed that he fell into the habit of using alcohol to support him through the stresses of being prime minister. The revelation immediately generated a debate, among journalists and the public, about whether this was anything worth writing about – many of us think nothing of drinking a whisky or G&T followed by a couple of glasses (or half a bottle) of wine each evening.
As Mr Blair said, it was at the upper limit of what is considered appropriate but an interesting question is whether he underestimated his alcohol intake – just as many of us do when asked by our GP or in surveys.
The difficulty, in a nation where drinking is so much a part of our culture, is that it is very easy to kid ourselves that we can handle what we drink and that what we drink is not too much. I am not implying that Tony Blair was pulling the wool over our eyes or his own; he defined his alcohol intake as “not excessively excessive” and we have to take that at face value.
But what made his confession so interesting was that he recognised his drinking had become a prop. For many, this objectivity is not possible. We drink (or turn to drugs, eating, self-harm) to cover up, disguise or distract us from difficult emotions – without being aware that that is what we are doing.
The first stage on the road to recovery is to discover and unravel those feelings so we can learn how to manage and respond to them. And many of us need not a quick-fix prop but professional support to plan the best route for the journey through our complicated, 21st century lives.
03/09/2010 | Posted in Psychotherapy,
Combat-stress and alcohol mis-use
As news breaks of the death of another British soldier in Afghanistan, it is worth thinking not only of the impact of his death on his family, friends and colleagues but also of the long-term effects of the stress of combat on the troops who make it back home alive.
A recent report, published in The Lancet and summarised in Therapy Today, revealed that today’s troops serving in Afghanistan and Iraq have a 22 per cent higher risk of alcohol mis-use than other servicemen and women. The greatest problems were among those serving in combat roles.
Alcohol mis-use is one of many potential effects of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Whilst the causes of PTSD among our forces are obvious, they are not always so in civilian life where it can be triggered by any event that causes psychological trauma – and that can vary from person to person. For some, it might be neglect, abuse, assault or witnessing a violent death such as suicide; for others, simply hearing about a traumatic event can lead to PTSD.
The good news is that several therapies have proved to be highly effective in treating PTSD including psychotherapy, CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitising and Reprocessing).
If you know someone who appears to be mis-using alcohol, or other substances, be aware that it could be their way of coping with the emotional chaos of a traumatic event – and an expression of PTSD. The first step is to recognise that alcohol mis-use is a symptom – not a cause – and that it can be treated.
07/07/2010 | Posted in Psychotherapy, EMDR, CBT,
Using psychotherapy to solve alcoholism
Alcoholism is a fast rising problem in the UK - as the culture of binge drinking seems not to be reducing, despite the government's efforts to tackle the problem.
Alcholics affect not only their own lives but also the lives of their friends, family and others around them. Factors contributing to the problem of alcoholism include a person's personality and character traits, suffering from depression and loneliness, shyness and also inheritance. People born to alcoholic parents are reportedly much more likely to suffer from alcoholism themselves than are adopted children. Being raised in a broken home and the early years, including teenage years, has a huge impact on whether or not a child is likely to suffer.
Psychotherapy is part of the government's plans to tackle depression and anxiety, and is also a method to help people cope and recover from alcoholism. Talking therapies, like CBT and psychotherapy, encourage the patient to look at how they can resolve their problem rather than how they came to suffer from it. Hypnotherapy has also proven successful in helping people to challenge and change their relationship with drink. In helping to understand and combat this rising issue, the profile of psychotherapy is being increased.
23/03/2009 | Posted in Psychotherapy, Hypnotherapy, CBT,
Agyness Deyn uses hypnotherapy to quit smoking
Queen of the catwalk, Agyness Deyn, has told the media that she is trying hypnotherapy in an effort to quit smoking for good. The 26 year old model, whose real name is Laura Hollins, has said that she is really determined to give up smoking because, as she put it:
"I feel like I'm playing mind games with nicotine. It's like being in a bad relationship."
It is always good to see stars and celebrities setting a good example for those who admire them, by quitting smoking and other bad habits, as the younger generation will follow the example they set.
Hypnotherapy is known to be particularly effective and has been made famous particularly by its success rate with smoking cessation. Just one or two sessions can be enough to help a lifelong smoker quit smoking forever without a backward glance. The only pre-requisite is for the client genuinely to want to quit their bad habit. Hypnosis can help with many other bad habits too, such as unhealthy eating habits, binge drinking, nail biting and many other issues. It is important to seek help from a qualified hypnotherapist who you feel comfortable with.
04/03/2009 | Posted in Hypnotherapy,
Four years smoke-free thanks to hypnotherapy
In the Killeen Daily Herald last week, the newspaper reported the story of a gentleman called Chris Everett who started smoking with his parent’s permission at school and his addiction followed him for the next 45 years. The story is not unusual in itself as particularly at that time many people started to smoke whilst at school and have struggled to kick the habit ever since. What made the story slightly different was that Everett was a registered nurse and, despite knowing all the health and financial risks, he could not kick the habit until a doctor’s nurse made a comment during an appointment. The nurse said she had kicked her smoking habit using hypnosis. Everett told the paper:
"I looked at her as if she was an alien. I asked her if she had any info and she went into her bag and came out with this number that she told me to call. But I really just thought of it as this clock or pendulum swaying back and forth."Despite feeling sceptical, Everett made an appointment with a hypnotherapist and went for his hypnotherapy. He listened to her speaking, closed his eyes and said he had thought that it could not possibly work. Four years on and thanks to hypnotherapy, Everett has remained smoke free for four years and is saving the money he otherwise would have spent for a dream trip to Paris and Rome later this year. Quitting smoking using hypnotherapy doesn’t mean you have to believe in it; it can still work and often in as little as one session.
19/01/2009 | Posted in Hypnotherapy,
Britain worries over finances
Website ReallyWorried.com shows the UK Worry Index, the resulting index devised from a survey of over 1400 people. According to this index, the global financial crisis means that the cost of living is now at the top of this UK's worries. The survey showed people are worrying more about money than they are about their health and drinking more than the previous year too, possibly in an effort to cope with worry.
Resorting to alcohol can breed more problems and this could be made worse as the survey showed 38 per cent bottle up their feelings. Talking about problems or looking at ways to change our patterns of thinking can really help and counsellors are finding that the credit crunch has meant an increase in the number of patients seeking help and solace from the stress.
Parents also worry their kids may become a victim of bullying. Youths aged from 16 to 24 worry the most as one in six apparently worries for around 12 hours a day. The worst day is Monday and after midnight is the time we worry the most.
Earlier this month The Sun quoted Phillip Hodson, a spokesperson for the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, as saying:
“It is alarming to realise from this research just how many people in Britain are chronic worriers. Worry is the central component of all anxiety disorders and most depression. Worry is the paralysing emotion that leaves us like rabbits trapped staring into the headlights. And it’s not only in the mind. The physical side of worry triggers a range of other symptoms from tics to indigestion and from obsessions to insomnia. “While it’s true that "born worriers" may never be cured, it is a darn sight more difficult to keep on worrying once you share your concerns with others who may already have found some good answers and who make you turn your fears into a realistic story with a beginning, a middle and, hopefully, a happy ending.”Counselling, psychotherapy, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and hypnotherapy are great therapies to help cope with the stress and worry so it is unsurprising that therapists are seeing more people for help with their day to day lives.
15/01/2009 | Posted in Psychotherapy, Counselling, CBT,
What can hypnotherapy help with?
As regular readers will know, hypnotherapy is a powerful tool using hypnosis for therapeutic purposes. But many people still associate hypnotherapy with stopping smoking and curing fears and that is it.
Hypnotherapy can be used for so many different things that the list is almost endless and hypnotherapists are finding new uses for it all the time. It can be used for almost any problem or situation where the body and the mind both come into play. Here are just a few of the issues that hypnotherapy has been used to help:
- sports – improving performance, anxiety, coaching, overcoming concentration problem, increasing focus, motivation;
- business – stress management, assertiveness, motivation and direction, problem solving and communication, public speaking, confidence;
- education – increasing concentration and focus, improving memory, exam nerves, study techniques;
- personal – increasing confidence or self-esteem, curing phobias and fears (whether of spiders, flying, heights, thunderstorms), anxiety and depression, insomnia, habits, addictions and other unwanted behaviour (nail biting, bedwetting, smoking, alcohol, drugs), sexual or relationship issues, eating disorders, shyness and blushing, pain management;
- health - chronic pain, hypno-birthing, IBS, snoring, dermatitis, asthma, nausea from pregnancy or chemotherapy.
Hypnotherapy promotes better health, well being and better life. For years, it was helped thousands of people in their every day lives.
22/09/2008 | Posted in Hypno-birthing,
Chicken nugget addiction cured with hypnotherapy
After an amazing 18 years of eating only chicken nuggets and chips, student Carla Laban has a healthy diet at least, thanks to hypnosis. When Carla was two, chicken nuggets were the only good that did not make Carla throw up violently. From that point on, Carla would skip breakfast every day and have nuggets for both dinner and lunch. This meant she was eating around 30 nuggets daily, at an average cost of £5 per day. Thanks to hypnotherapy, Carla is now starting to eat pasta and vegetables. Carla said:
"I can remember having chicken nuggets and chips for the first and thinking, 'I can eat this without being sick. Before that, I couldn't eat anything without having a panic attack and my throat tightening up. I couldn't even stand the smell of other food. I used to get ill quite a lot. While classmates would have a cold for a week, I'd have one for four. People thought I was being fussy. They didn't understand that I physically couldn't eat anything else."Despite exercise to combat the unhealthy diet, Carla was still ill. When Coventry-based Carla was preparing for university her family arranged for her to see a hypnotherapist to wean her off the chicken nuggets. Thanks to hypnosis, she now eats more varieties of food and is still improving. The hypnotherapist started by helping Carla to make a small shift from nuggets to chicken goujons. Next, she moved to chicken pizza and slowly onto other food types. All sorts of phobias can be cured with hypnotherapy, including food phobias, however, each person is different.
02/09/2008 | Posted in Hypnotherapy,
Can hypnotherapy help me?
The different uses for hypnotherapy seem to be expanding every year, and we seem constantly to discover new ways of using hypnosis. Hypnosis as an alternative therapy is still new and not entirely understood, even by those who use it every day, because it deals with our minds. Our minds have always been an enigma even to ourselves, we still know so little about our unconscious mind.
The exposure of hypnotherapy seems to be increasing even more this year, as celebrities such as Chris Martin, Nicole Richie, Lily Allen and more have been hitting the headlines with hypnosis this year. People have also seen it in use on Celebrity Fat Club and Paul McKenna has now moved to LA to promote work over there.
Many people may be intrigued by hypnosis, but still wonder what it can do for them so here is a short selection:
- get rid of old habits: things like smoking, nailbiting, overeating, drinking, blushing or any other habit that we want to stop. With hypnosis, there are no drugs or side effects, just positive results;
- phobias: this isn't just creepy crawlies but also fear of dogs, needles, flying, dentists, claustrophobia, agoraphobia, water and many more;
- develop new habits: hypnosis can help you instill new habits like increasing confidence, motivation and public speaking as well as healthy eating, studying, networking, talking, even romance!
- pain management: this is a media-grabbing one. Hypnosis can be used to help stop pain, but is almost too effective. It has even been used in surgery or childbirth as an alternative to anaesthesia. It is very important to seek medical advice before using hypnosis to remove pain as pain shouldn't be removed without ensuring if there is a physical problem that needs resolving first.
Another benefit of hypnosis is that you can use self-hypnosis to reinforce benefits yourself, ask your hypnotherapist to teach you.
12/08/2008 | Posted in Hypnotherapy,
Hypnotherapy cures gambling addiction
A local newspaper in Huddersfield, reported this week that hypnotherapy cured a compulsive gambler of his addiction, against all the odds. Gambler Tony Mays, aged 38, has quit his gambling habits and sold his Village Bakery business in Marsden, to move to France for a new life with his wife Zoe. Mr Mays said it took just three hypnotherapy sessions to cure him completely. After the third session, he said:
“I knew instantly that I would never bet again. I couldn’t even bring myself to buy a lottery ticket”.Mr Mays said he started gambling, at the age of 13, in the arcades whilst living in Blackpool. He continued:
“I’d probably known since the age of 20 that I had a problem, which I tried to hide. It wasn’t the money that was a problem – I didn’t get into debt or put my career or business at risk – it was the amount of time it took up. I felt guilty that Zoe was always waiting around for me and I felt tired all the time. I must have spent around 30 hours a week in the bookies. It was compulsive to go every day.”When his mother died from cancer one year ago, Mr Mays decided to change. During his three hynotherapy sessions Mr Mays also learned to self-hypnotise and claims it has also helped him to get fit and lose weight.
“Over a year on, my former gambling colleagues still can’t believe the change. When we went back to Blackpool I had absolutely no desire to gamble, I just wanted to tell all the lads playing the machines to get treatment".
21/06/2008 | Posted in Hypnotherapy,
