Can psychotherapy save a marriage from divorce?

Whether or not psychotherapy and counselling can save a marriage from the brink of divorce is a question that many people tend to ask before making an appointment to see a therapist. According to one article in The Times earlier this month, the answer is yes.

The couple featured in the article were at the point of seeking a divorce. The wife had had an affair that she had ended and wanted to work through their problems but, naturally, mistrust had crept into the relationship. Over six weeks, the couple met with a therapist to discuss issues within their relationship, how to work out their problems and, 18 months later, the couple are happily together.

Asking for outside help can seem difficult for many couples and families, as you are involving a third party in what may be a private and emotional matter for each person. However, as this feature showed, sometimes counselling or psychotherapy can help to understand and survive something that may seem impossible to overcome. When it comes to the point of divorce, this is the make or break crunch point for a couple. If they really want to try to work things through, then there is often little to lose by trying counselling and, if it creates a stronger marriage, then surely it is worth the effort.



13/05/2009 | Posted in Counselling, Psychotherapy,


Avoid a new year divorce with mediation

According to a report from The Times Online, it isn’t just your body that might be flagging following the Christmas period but your relationship might need a little tender loving care too.

The Family Mediation helpline has stated that thousands of UK couples worry about separation in the New Year period and indeed divorce lawyers state that the first working day in the new year often sees a flurry of activity as couples file for divorce.

Mediation is the process of allowing a neutral third party to help bring together two parties in order to find a mutually satisfactory outcome to any dispute.  Contrary to popular opinion, it isn’t just for corporate companies or legal disputes, but can also be used in relationships especially where children are involved.

To help avoid divorce, couples should take a little time for themselves. This doesn’t have to be an expensive time, sometimes just watching a film together or going back to places where they dated can help to rekindle memories of happier times and to remind them why they got together in the first place.  It is important not to resort to blame tactics, but to take a more constructive approach and see how you can proceed together as a couple from hereon in.

Mediation can often help couples to see things from outside the relationships.  A mediator does not take sides, but simply helps to reach workable agreements and avoid a trip to the courts if at all possible.



06/01/2009 | Posted in Mediation, Psychotherapy,


Divorce mediation

Divorce mediation can help couples to make decisions to reduce the likelihood that the divorce will decrease the couple’s assets and in a way that will reduce any negative impact on children. However, divorce mediation does not suit every troubled couple.

Divorce mediation requires both people to be honest about their situation and want a positive outcome from it. If one party is intent on hiding assets, making the other person feel miserable, or wants to take an unfair advantage of the other, then divorce mediation will not work.

There are many advantages to divorce mediation. First, it is cheaper. The couple usually splits the fee as well. Without mediation, each person pays their own lawyer, so between them they will pay twice as much. The main advantage is that the couple get to decide the divorce outcome. The mediator’s goal in divorce mediation is to ensure each person agrees at each step of the process. Together, the couple decide when to file for divorce, how to divide property and parenting time with children, and everything else. Without mediation, a judge decided for the couple and they are stuck with that. If a couple believes they can work together reasonably to finish their marriage, then they should most definitely consider divorce mediation.



25/08/2008 | Posted in Mediation,


 

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