Massacre in Norway triggers lessons in bereavement, grief, trauma and mental health
The massacre in Norway raises many points about mental health, bereavement, grief and trauma.
Let’s look first at Anders Behring Breivik whose actions resulted in 76 people being killed or, as we write this, unaccounted for. While it might have been legally judicious for his lawyer to label Breivik “insane”, using that word says more about prejudice than it does about understanding mental health.
When people retreat from the norm – behaving anti-socially, whether by withdrawing from others or behaving inhumanely towards themselves or others – it is often because they feel out of kilter with the world, or misunderstood by it, or because they cannot manage their emotions. This is not a defence of Breivik’s behavour (clearly extreme and exceptional) but it is an example of what can happen if mental illnesses are not recognised, diagnosed or treated.
While the majority of our clients are well-informed and self-aware, mental illness remains a taboo. Talking about mental health issues with partners, family, friends – or with colleagues at work – is not something everyone has the chance or inclination to do. Keeping concerns private does not often lead to extremes of behaviour – but it can cause significant shifts in behaviour or personality, turning people in on themselves. And that could lead to self-harm, eating disorders, mis-using drugs or alcohol, an over-reliance on smoking; it could cause anxiety, panic, stress, phobias, sleep issues. It can also affect behaviour and performance at work and relationships. Anyone feeling they do not fit in, that others are against them, or that they cannot cope deserves support and encouragement. Yet, as our human instinct is often to shy away from exposing what we think of as private weaknesses or inadequacies, support is often hard to seek.
The Norwegian tragedy also shows how others can be affected, directly or indirectly.
We’ve heard about the guilt that some survivors of the incident feel – that they escaped his attention or were just of out range so they lived but others didn’t. There is anger at the police – for taking what the public considered too long to respond to the incident, and for not having the right means to get their fast. Many who witnessed the incident were immediately traumatised and may remain affected by the trauma for some time. Some parents felt relief on learning their child was safe, but their relief was tinged with sadness at others’ loss. We saw the tearful response of the King and Queen of Norway at the memorial service, shocked and saddened by the individual deaths and by what was the country’s biggest loss of life since the second world war. And we noted the stunned expression on the Norwegian prime minister’s face as he took control of the incident, balancing his emotions with his responsibilities to set a lead for the country and protect its reputation as a tourist destination.
Paramedics who reached the scene described the people they found as traumatised. Those paramedics are likely to have built up resilience that helps them manage their reactions to traumatic incidents but they might need continuing support to maintain that resilience.
And we’ve experienced our own reactions, at a distance from the incident, trying to make sense of it from our perspectives, with many of us reliving grief at lives lost years ago or recently.
All of these reactions are normal – grief is a complex emotion even when a death or loss occurs naturally and is expected. Sometimes it takes an extreme act for people to notice the extent of their own or others’ mental distress – and to give themselves permission to seek help to overcome it.
If this traumatic incident has triggered difficult emotions, changed behaviours, or reopened issues you thought were under control, do get in touch with us for professional, therapeutic support. We offer a range of therapies including EMDR (recognised by NICE as particularly effective for recovering from trauma), CBT, hypnotherapy, psychotherapy and counselling - and often recommend a blend of therapies so each person receives the form of therapy that is best for them.
29/07/2011 | Posted in Psychotherapy, Psychodynamic therapy, Psychoanalytical therapy, Person-centred counselling, NLP, Integrative counselling, Hypnotherapy, Humanistic psychotherapy, Gestalt therapy, Existential counselling, EMDR, EFT, Counselling, CBT, Sensorimotor psychotherapy,
When work doesn't work any more
With employment news hitting the headlines again it is appropriate to reflect on how people are affected when their jobs are at risk or when relationships – usually between those in charge and those who work for them – break down.
- Today, the army has told 38 people their jobs will end in 12
months’ time – and it has done so by email. The army’s assistant general chief
of staff and the government have apologised for the unacceptable way in which
they broke the news to the long-serving soldiers.
- This week, the RAF announced that about 50 of its trainee
pilots could face redundancy and that it will not take any new students next
year, ending the careers of people whose hopes seemed built on strong
foundations, and disappointing others who had seen a positive future.
- Throughout this month, widespread media coverage has been
given to the fact that the future of our libraries is at risk, potentially
putting thousands of librarians out of work.
- And, again this month, the long-running dispute at British
Airways filled more column inches when its recent ballot was declared unlawful,
creating more uncertainties for cabin crew whose jobs are under threat.
These high profile cases have attracted sympathy from the public; there is a collective understanding of the disappointment, frustrations and irritations those affected must feel. But, for most people whose jobs are unsatisfactory or at risk, or whose relationships at work have deteriorated, there is no guarantee of understanding from anyone; their bosses, colleagues, family, friends might be too preoccupied by their own work or home lives to provide support.
At work, the highs and lows reverse: when morale dips and motivation wanes, production falls and absenteeism rises. Diffidence increases, tensions heighten, commitment slumps. Managers might not be equipped to manage these new situations or ask for help; respect for them dissipates; their achievements come under closer scrutiny – they, too, struggle to keep up the pace.
The private lives of the people whose jobs are at risk might also fall apart creating tensions, conflict, stress, a withdrawal from normal life and perhaps a drift into risky behaviour.
Professional advice – coaching, counselling, mentoring, mediation, training – can help individuals, individually or in teams, by building confidence, inspiring people, reducing conflict. It can also create a business shift – providing strategic advice on workplace policies, building skills for handling difficult situations or people, devising policies and practices that engender focus, build confidence, strengthen leadership and reshape the corporate culture.
In all four examples highlighted above, professional support and advice could create huge positive shifts for the people - and for the organisations - involved.
15/02/2011 | Posted in Mediation, Counselling,
The Ashes - Achieving aspirations in a new year
“The best team won.” This is the overriding view of sports commentators, professional and amateur, throughout Australia after the British team retained The Ashes. Magnanimity in defeat is a quality that comes naturally to some and it is striking that it comes so easily in Australia (where coverage of their defeat has included fulsome praise for the British team) and to Australians (who seem to have a sunnier outlook than many Brits) even in the face of adversity. Sometimes it seems as if we, as a nation, find it hard to hide disappointment or acknowledge another country’s success against our own.
Finding a positive side, at home, at work and at leisure, can also seem impossible - yet doing so can help us get through difficulties with ease.
At work, decisions are made that contradict the wishes of many leaving some feel short-changed and, perhaps, a few feeling they can’t put up with their jobs any more. At home, disagreements over small things can turn minor issues into events that have enormous implications – perhaps splitting up relationships, severing contacts, changing lives. In down time in between, staying in control enough to cope with change can lead to an over-zealous approach to exercise, a compulsion to shop or clean, or a withdrawal from society.
Managing emotional reactions, improving performance and building resilience, can however be learned – with guidance from a professional.
Meanwhile, as a new year begins, many of us make new year’s resolutions that are founded more in hope than in experience - and that are bound to be unattainable.
Setting realistic goals – moving at an achievable pace, one step at a time – is more likely to lead to success, whatever the overall aim. Yet many of us reach first for the final outcome – the equivalent of winning The Ashes – forgetting that there are several steps – each Test – to go through before the outcome is known.
Professional therapeutic support can help you work out which steps to take, and how to pace them, to achieve your new year’s resolution so you can face 2011 with as much of a positive outlook as Australians have towards the future of their cricket achievements.
30/12/2010 | Posted in Psychotherapy, Counselling,
Building pride and commitment at work: taking lessons from sport
With England riding high in The Ashes, a collective sense of pride seems to be sweeping through the nation. Even people whose knowledge of cricket extends no further than knowing it is played in whites on village greens have been caught up in following our team’s success, even if only in passing. At the same time we learned the disappointing news that Britain had failed to be chosen to host the football world cup in 2018.
Both events offer lessons about building pride and commitment at work.
With The Ashes, sports commentators convey the news enthusiastically on every medium – television, radio, print, the Internet – praising individual cricketers’ achievements and the team’s approach. There is no doubt that the team is pulling together and praise is being given to all as well as to each team player separately.
With the world cup announcement, all three leaders (prime minister David Cameron, HRH Prince William, David Beckham) spoke separately, but similarly, about the decision – praising the team who had put together an exemplary bid, criticising no one for their efforts. The overall message was everyone had done more than their bit; no one person was to blame; everyone was in this together.
These leadership approaches – giving praise where praise is due, shouldering the responsibility when things go wrong, communicating clearly to team members and beyond – specifically to build morale, commitment, loyalty, dedication and pride are typical in sport. They are less typical in organisations and businesses – though they are needed there just as much.
When morale is low, commitment, loyalty, dedication and pride plummet; absenteeism increases. Productivity and profits fall which puts jobs at risk, further depressing morale. Meanwhile, managers may be forced to focus on short-term targets, leaving staff to manage on their own, often in a communication vacuum.
This is when businesses need to adopt tactics used routinely in the sporting world – using experts (the equivalent of a team coach) not only to help devise ways of rebuilding individual morale and a collective team spirit but also to provide the hands-on effort needed to work with the team’s members and communicate with staff. We regularly act as team coach for the businesses we work with, rebuilding morale so staff and managers find it easier to work at peak performance.
14/12/2010 | Posted in Mediation, Psychotherapy,
Stress at work
Today is Stress Awareness Day and MIND (a leading mental health charity) has just released research showing that millions of people take sickies to cope with stress at work – and that they lie to their bosses about the reasons for those sickies. I suspect that most of us have been in this position at some stage during our working life.
Taking a day off might help to some degree – giving you a chance to wind down, or up, or both, whichever is right for you – but it doesn’t solve the problem for the long term. The same pressures will continue; it takes corporate, not individual, action to change the level of stress at work.
For many organisations, facing up to the fact that stress is an issue can be hugely counter-cultural and intimidating. It is often the case that the people creating stress for others are under stress themselves – and they can be as reluctant to be honest about this to their bosses, as their staff are about being honest to them. The merry-go-round of stress goes merrily round with people at every level unable to stop and get off.
It doesn’t have to be like this. While a certain degree of stress is good for each of us – it drives us on, inspires us, encourages achievement, helps us aim high – an unmanageable level of stress can adversely affect individual and corporate performance. At the very least, it increases the number of sickies we take.
More and more organisations realise that they need policies to manage stress in the workplace. Some policies might be relatively easy to introduce (reducing noise, for example) but others require greater corporate effort (training leaders to recognise stress in themselves and others, and how to minimise or overcome it). Getting outside help, including to formulate and implement those policies, is one way for business leaders to reduce their own stress (delegating is an important stress-reliever) as well as the stress their staff feel – so everyone can concentrate on their own, and the business’s, success.
How did you cope on Stress Awareness Day?
03/11/2010 | Posted in Psychotherapy, Hypnotherapy, Counselling, CBT,
Vanessa Raw on hypnotherapy
British triathlete Vanessa Raw was recently featured in The Times in an interview about her being named a member of the British Olympic triathlon academy squad. The triathlon is a gruelling event consisting of a 1,500-metre swim, then a 40km (25 mile) cycle, and finally a 10km run and is certainly not for those faint of heart.
Vanessa Raw told the Times she has great expectations for the Olympics in 2012 and is using hypnotherapy to help her focus and improve. She said:
“I’m in hypnotherapy at the moment and I get to visualise London already. The more I think about it, the more excited I get. I’m pretty fired up now. My plan is to win the event. I think it’s a reasonable expectation.”Using hypnosis to train for sporting events is not unusual. Many footballers, boxers and athletes have used it in the past. Using mental imagery and goals helps them to focus. Most athletes will admit that the mental attitude is just as, if not more, important than the physical aspect and it can make the difference between winning and losing. So, let’s see if hypnotherapy works for Vanessa Raw.
01/04/2009 | Posted in Hypnotherapy,
Get fit with hypnotherapy: Part 3
In earlier parts, we discussed how hypnotherapy can help with sports performance for athletes and even for people who simply wantto get more from their workout. We also talked about the different benefits that can come from hypnotherapy sessions with a hypnotherapist or sports psychologist, and subsequently from ongoing self hypnosis techniques. So, if this is an area you feel you might be interest in, where should you start?
There are many CDs and scripts available for purchase, however, although it is possible that hypnosis can be induced in this manner, it is a much better choice to begin by seeing a professional hypnotherapist. The hypnotherapist can tailor a hypnosis session to an individual, whereas a script or CD is designed for the masses. Everyone is different. A hypnotherapist can help you to reach a deeper level of hypnosis, suitable for your needs, and is able to make sure the session is right for you.
In the hypnotherapy session, the therapist will first of all have a chat with you to talk about what you want to achieve from the hypnosis. The first stage is then what is termed an ‘induction’, which is when the hypnotherapist helps you reach hypnosis. This is very calm and relaxing; there is no swinging watch or swirling image to watch as you might have seen in the media. Once in hypnosis, you are given a few suggestions to help you. You are likely to be aware of every word, few people actually reach deep hypnosis where they don’t hear every word and in most cases it is not necessary anyway. Generally, you’ll need a few sessions but you should continue to get the most benefit in sports performance, although this can be done through self hypnosis techniques that your hypnotherapist can show you.
22/02/2009 | Posted in Hypnotherapy,
Get fit with hypnotherapy: Part 2
In an earlier article, we discussed how hypnotherapy can be used to help those who wish to improve their performance in the gym, on the field in their chosen area of sport or even in the workplace. Here are just a few of the benefits that you can get from practising hypnosis, either with a hypnotherapist or, after a few sessions, with your own self hypnosis techniques:
- relaxation: this is the first point that many people make when they have had their first hypnosis session, how relaxing they found it and how nice they felt afterwards. Hypnosis is a very relaxing feeling, however, it doesn’t end there. When it comes to the area of sport, an athlete will have nerves. These feelings of nerves can be good to a certain point but they can work against you.
- visualisation: perhaps surprisingly, visualising yourself achieving your goal, working harder or better and getting what you want makes a big difference between an average and better-than-average performance in any area. By picturing something, you are making that image more powerful and life-like and hypnosis can intensify this image much more than we can in our conscious mind alone.
- improving performance: the one we all want. It has been shown that hypnosis can help control pain and most athletes are familiar with ‘getting in the zone’ and that sports performance is as much about mental willpower as it is about the physical aspect. Our best performances happen when our mind and body are in sync and hypnosis can help with that.
18/02/2009 | Posted in Hypnotherapy,
Get fit with hypnotherapy: Part 1
When it comes to using mental techniques to improve our fitness, athletes can use a variety of methods but hypnotherapy is probably the one method that men are least likely to give a chance. However, when used properly, hypnotherapy can be a great way to improve working out, sports performance and even attitude and performance in work.
For those who may be feeling a little sceptical at this point, this is perfectly natural but take a moment to consider that Tiger Woods has reportedly been using self hypnosis techniques since the tender age of just 13 years old. A variety of Olympian athletes have made use of hypnotherapy to help them to overcome their own self-doubt and mental limitations and to visualise their success in their field.
Hypnosis is not just for the serious athlete though; if you simply want to get more out of your workouts at the gym then it can help the normal person too. Hypnotherapy is certainly not the way it is portrayed in the media. There is no swinging fob watch, clucking like a chicken or imagining you are the king of England. Sports psychologists and hypnotherapists use hypnosis techniques in a very different way.
16/02/2009 | Posted in Hypnotherapy,
Improving sports performance
Hypnotherapy has been used by famous athletes to improve their sports performance. This seems to be backed up by a new Australian study, whose results suggest that the faster speed achieved by athletes when they take performance-enhancing drugs is in their mind.
The research compared athletes on a placebo with those given a growth hormone drug. Those who had taken the dummy pills ran faster, jumped higher and managed to lift heavier weights than those who were on the hormones. The results suggest what hypnotherapists say is true – if you think that you will perform better, then you will.
Many professional athletes have used creative visualisation to boost their performance for years and one of the methods that hypnotherapists use is visualisation. However, visualisation in hypnosis is much stronger, because the person is completely relaxed and focused on the visualisation - so they concentrate harder and the memory is stronger. Dr Aimee Kimball, the director of mental training in sports medicine from the University of Pittsburgh, said:
"If you visualise being stronger, running faster or winning, you are priming your nervous system to do just that. Studies have found that the method can enhance physical performance significantly, sometimes by 20 per cent or more".
30/09/2008 | Posted in Hypnotherapy,
What can hypnotherapy help with?
As regular readers will know, hypnotherapy is a powerful tool using hypnosis for therapeutic purposes. But many people still associate hypnotherapy with stopping smoking and curing fears and that is it.
Hypnotherapy can be used for so many different things that the list is almost endless and hypnotherapists are finding new uses for it all the time. It can be used for almost any problem or situation where the body and the mind both come into play. Here are just a few of the issues that hypnotherapy has been used to help:
- sports – improving performance, anxiety, coaching, overcoming concentration problem, increasing focus, motivation;
- business – stress management, assertiveness, motivation and direction, problem solving and communication, public speaking, confidence;
- education – increasing concentration and focus, improving memory, exam nerves, study techniques;
- personal – increasing confidence or self-esteem, curing phobias and fears (whether of spiders, flying, heights, thunderstorms), anxiety and depression, insomnia, habits, addictions and other unwanted behaviour (nail biting, bedwetting, smoking, alcohol, drugs), sexual or relationship issues, eating disorders, shyness and blushing, pain management;
- health - chronic pain, hypno-birthing, IBS, snoring, dermatitis, asthma, nausea from pregnancy or chemotherapy.
Hypnotherapy promotes better health, well being and better life. For years, it was helped thousands of people in their every day lives.
22/09/2008 | Posted in Hypno-birthing,
Hypnotherapy for achievement in sport
When you take part in any physical activity or sport, many people start to find reasons for failing before they've even set out. Your mental state is an important factor in anything that you do, and that includes sport or athletics. Yet, it is still one of the most neglected areas in sports training.
Is it really possible that hypnotherapy can be used to help train your mind to help you achieve your physical goals?
We need to learn to use our minds in a positive way and we tend to get what we focus on. We need to learn to expect success rather than failure and this makes a key difference in anything we do. Hypnotherapy can help you to change your focus and your approach, to make you feel more confident, set realistic goals, reduce anxiety and maintain a positive attitude.
Hypnotherapy has been used in sports therapy for many decades and is still little known. Famous sports stars have used hypnotherapy: for example, Tiger Woods had hypnotherapy for his golf. Many of them, however, prefer to keep their use of hypnotherapy quiet because of the myths and misconceptions about hypnosis.
Hypnotherapy is a highly effective method of improving your mental attitude and focus. Like anything else, and just as it is in sport,practice and preparation improves performance. When times are tough, when you're feeling mentally or physically exhausted, your hypnotherapy sessions will kick in. You will be able to shake off discouragement and anxiety and focus on the matter in hand. Concentration and technique will be easier to find. A hypnotherapy session for sports enhancement can be customised to the individual and, when combined with CBT techniques, it can be even more effective.
13/06/2008 | Posted in Hypnotherapy, CBT,
